The Ultimatum: Where Relationships Die and Dignity Is the First to Leave

This is for the readers who love good mess because this show had tons of it.

As I write, I’m finally collecting my thoughts on the latest season of The Ultimatum: Marry or Move On. If you’re new to the franchise, this series is a social experiment in which eight couples are on the verge of marriage. One partner is not ready, and they are issued an ultimatum. 

Each couple has eight weeks to decide whether to get married or split forever. They split up, choose new partners, and then move in with them for three weeks for a trial marriage. I know you’re probably reading this like, “Who would willingly go on a show like this?” Well, my friend, there’s a reason this show is on its third season.

Is the show made with good intentions? Absolutely not. Still, like its older sister, Love Is Blind, it’s an entertaining mess that keeps me locked in every episode. As a devoted viewer, I believe this new season definitely upped the ante in structure and the number of trainwreck relationships they had on camera. If you haven’t finished the show, pause here, then return once you’ve finished because we’re about to dive into these couples.

Spoiler Alert: since Micah & Chanel and Vanessa & Dave departed early, they won’t be placed in the Trainwreck Hall of Fame.

Mariah & Caleb: Cool, Calm, and Avoidant

Overall, Caleb and Mariah were pretty lightweight compared to their castmates. Still, they made the list because Caleb was avoidant, and Mariah was a little too young to be consumed by marriage, but she seemed pretty mature and sure of what she wanted out of their relationship.

The issue stood more on Caleb’s end after he continued to deny his affection for his trial-marriage wife, Aria. Although the trial seemed to bring those two closer, I could still see that Caleb deeply loved Mariah and wanted to be with her.

It was a no-brainer that the couple ended up getting engaged. Still, I think Caleb’s avoidant attitude came to bite him again when Aria revealed at the reunion that Caleb watched her Instagram stories and blocked and then unblocked her in hopes of continuing to downplay their dynamic. But Mariah and Caleb seem locked in, and I wish them the best.

Sandy & Nick: Therapy> Marriage Pt. 2

Remember the last time we had a Trainwreck Hall of Fame? I mentioned how there was always a couple who made me think, “How did you get on this show?”

Okay, well, Sandy (27) and Nick(38) are the new crown holders of that question. First, their age gap was a major underlying issue because Nick felt he was ready for marriage, and Sandy wasn’t because she wanted to be out and enjoy the nightlife. I don’t know what Nick expected when dealing with someone significantly younger than him.

Of course, a 27-year-old still wants to be outside. Little did I know their dynamic would continue to crash and burn so badly. Nick was not in a stable place during his time in the experiment. After Nick’s trial partner departed early and left him alone, he became obsessive and erratic, from calling Sandy repeatedly to “accidentally” getting the same tattoo as Sandy’s trial partner, J.R., who became a prominent character in their dynamic.

Sandy isn’t a full-blown saint in the experience, either. Although she had the right to participate in the experiment fully, she should’ve been honest with Nick and Zaina about how connected she and J.R. had become. Am I shocked these two didn’t work out? No, and honestly, they were never going to be on the same page, so it made sense for them to go ahead and cut the cord.

Zaina & J.R.: Cringe-fest

I could write a book about the second-hand embarrassment I felt watching this couple's pre- and post-trial marriage. Between J.R. saying this was his time to experiment with a white girl and Zaina expressing she feels she loves J.R. more than he loves her after being together for three years, this couple was a constant ick.

Whenever J.R. came on my screen, it felt like an instant headache, especially during his trial marriage with Sandy, which seemed focused on physical and sexual attraction rather than digging deep. According to the trial couple, they addressed at the reunion that they were deep with each other, and off camera, they mainly discussed their exes, but unfortunately, I can’t go off of what I didn’t see. Anytime the two showed up on my screen, it threw me and Zaina off.

In the beginning, hearing J.R. hesitate about marrying Zaina because his previous marriage ended due to infidelity seemed to make sense. Still, as the season continued, it seemed like J.R. didn’t see a future with her. During his trial marriage with Sandy, he had no issue calling her his wife, talking about his feelings, and even saying it would be weird being around his girlfriend after their trial marriage ended.

Honestly, this couple did not have a future to stand on for a reason and needed to stay that way because Zaina did love J.R. more than he loved her.

Aria & Scotty: Non-Affection Meets Rejection Anxiety

I couldn’t decide who was the most insufferable between Nick, J.R., and Scotty, but Scotty won this battle. It’s not surprising that Aria became so attached to Caleb and started romanticizing their trial marriage because Scotty isn’t nice.

When Aria cried because Scotty was holding hands with his trial-marriage partner Zaina, he began to gaslight Aria and raise his voice at her. I knew we were in for a long ride. The dynamic between these two showcased how they were not in the same headspace.

As a long-distance couple, their journey on the show revealed a significant divide in their love language and how they handled conflict. Aria opened up about her lack of affection, and we’ve seen Scotty’s reactive behavior when feeling rejected or attacked. During his trial marriage with Zaina, those patterns continued to spread, as he had snappy moments with her and even stooped to age-shaming her even though he was 30 and she was only 32.

Though Aria and Scotty got engaged, the couple revealed that things did not work out at the reunion. Aria shared that she ended the engagement the next day after realizing this was not what she wanted and it was for the best. These two never found common ground and needed to be with themselves.